Who's Your Daddy
by AnimeboysareHot17
Summary: Sakuras pregnat but its not Sasuke's child. Many think its Orachimaru's but it turns out not even to be his. Surprising twist at the end. REALLY SURPRISING TWIST. This really is a sick, twisted, perverted story. ENJOY!
1. Sasuke Finds Out

**I dont own Naruto **

**Srry bout the one chapter thing. I promise it will be long.**

Chapter One : Sasuke finds out.

"OMG!!!" Sakura was just coming out of the doctars office crying and jumping up and down.

She knew that it was the most important news she ever got. She had to find Sasuke right away. She found him sitting at one of the tables in the park playing with his dog.

"Sasuke-kun! Sasuke-kun!" She yelled like a little girl even though she was 18.

"What is it now Sakura. Last time you came here you wanted me to kill the spider in your shower." Sasuke was so irritated, that he had to come here to avoid the insane person he calls his girlfriend.

"I'm pregant!" Sakura was so happy, but she knew that Sasuke would be even happier. But he looked at her like he was going to kill her.

"Ummmm, ok. This is weird. First of all I don't know what this will do to our life but how do you know it's even mine." Sasuke was slighty getting used to the idea becuase after all he did want to rebuild his tribe.

"I know its your becuase your the only one I have ever slept with, I think. I dont know for sure. But I am postive that it is your's." Sakura knew that this would bite her in the butt later. But she lied just to be safe.

"Well if your sure its mine lets get married. That way the baby will have a steady family.

" I do." Sakura kissed Sasuke and was offical they were married. She was now 4 months pregant.

5 months later...

"Congratutlations, Sakura, you have a healthy baby boy." The doctar always love this part of the job.

Sasuke walks into the room but almost attacks Sakura.

"This doesn't look a thing like me it looks like Itachi mixed Orachigaywad!" Sasuke was now breathing in deeply and almost passed out.

"Umm, sweetie, who is Orachigaywad? And trust me, I wouldn't sleep with Itachi unless I was drunk."

"Well that makes me feel better, NOT! YOU WOULD GO TO THE BARS ALMOST EVERY NIGHT. YOU WOULD COME HOME DRUNK EVERY TIME!!!" Sasuke completely ignored her question becuase he knew she knew who that was and would figure it out within the minutes.

"Ohh Orachigaywad is Orachimaru. Oh I get it. Well if you fell that way I guess we should get a blood test."

"That would make me feel much better. Also I am going to call those two and have them come over to our house to explain."

"Why are we here again?" Itachi was training with little Sasuke dummies when Sasuke went to go get him.

"You and I are here becuase one out of the three of us are the father of Sakura's baby." Orachimaru was hooping that it was his becuse he wanted to father a child but he knew it wasn't his.

"Oh, ok then why are we sitting here in their living room without them in it." Itachi was so dump ever since he got hit in the head with a rabbit.

"Becuase, we were fighting. Now why don't we get the baby and go to the hospital." Sasuke was very excited about this he wanted to know whos baby it was.

Sakura left to go get her baby. As she entered the baby's nursrey she stepped on a giant pile of legos. "Stupid legos" she mumbled out of the corner of her mouth.

"How did you like you nap John?" Sakura used the voice you used with little children.

She picked him up and took him out to see his three daddies. "Wow he does look alot like me. Doesn't he?" Orachimaru was so excited to see the baby mostly. They all got into the car and left to the hospital.

The car trip was 6 hours long ut since the baby was only 2 months old he fell asleep right away. So all the older people just talked.

Finally they came to the discussion of Naruto and Ten-ten's marrige, and how much that surprised everyone most Neji. "Well personally I think she did it to beat Hinata to the best man. Itachi's cell phone rang with Kisame's ring tone but he didn't want to answer it.

But if he didn't Kisame would kill him that was one of his rules in the Akatsuki. "Itachi speaking. Ya, I am going to the hospital. Why do I have to pick up your medications. Fine. Oh tell Deidara I love him. Ok? Bye"

"What?" Everyone was looking at Itachi as if he just droped a bomb on each other foot. "Ya so what if I love Deidara." Itachi didn't know what was wrong.

"Itachi, I knew you were gay, but I thought you were going out with Kisame!" Sasuke thought someone was taking over his older brother's body.

"We were going out but it wasn't working out. He cheated on me with a dolphin."

Itachi grew sadder but came back to normal person world.

"Okay, here we are. Everyone out. Oh Sasuke get the baby for me, please. Thanks" Sakura was hand in hand with Itachi and started thinking about the benefits for marring him.

As they entered she noticed that Gaara was here with a giant pole stuck inside his girlfriend's stomach and luaghed that what she get for trying to steal her man...

"Okay so next we have Mrs. Sakura and the baby." The doctar lead Sakura and her group into a room made for blood tests.

"Sakura you may want to hold your baby for baby." The doctar had a 3 inch needle in his hand. Sakura picked up her baby and he barely moved when the nettle touched him.

40 minutes later..

"Well Sakura, I think you need to explain to these men becuase none of these men are the father." The room grew quiet and only the baby made a noise.

"Well who the hell is the father? I married her becuase she told me it was definitly me. I ruined my life becuase of her mistake."

Sasuke was so mad right now his brother and the doctar had to stop him from getting Sakura.

"Well I want you men to find out. In this envelope is a picture of three men: Kabuto, Kakashi, and Naruto. They are in a certain order for a purpose, that is the order you must see the men. So good luck. But first I must tell Sakura who the father is." He lead her out of the room.

"Who do you think it guys?" Itachi was very courious who it was. At the same time the both said "Naruto." They all were most likely thinking the same thing. 'Of course its Naruto.'

As Sakura came in all three men ran out to the men ran out to find Kabuto. Then went to Kakashi, finally Naruto. After 4 longs days they came back with a blood sample of each person.

"Okay here I go. The real father is

is

is..."

"Just say it already." Itachi was getting impaitent

"Okay the real father is behind this door."

He opened the door.

All three men said it at the same time.

**"Kabuto?!?!" **

Hoped you liked it. I'll write another one later.


	2. The Child Grows Up

**I dont own Naruto **

Chapter 2: The child grows up

Sakura and Kabuto are know married and have 2 other children with each other. Sasuke is still visiting Jonathan but not wanting to see Sakura or Kabuto he offers to babysit.

Its the third night that Sasuke has babysitted and he has a plan to break the child out of this house. The child was now 8 and is already a very talented ninja, more powerful then his parents combined.

"Sasuke?" Jonathan came out of his bedroom to see Sasuke watching Scarface in the kitchen. "What do you want Jonathan? Are you thirsty?"

"No I remembered your offer and I want to join you. In your mission to kill Itachi, he came over here yesterday andbeat up my mom."

Jonathan looked beat up himself. "Okay follow me. This is the best plan yet." Sasuke thought of himself as a genius in a costume. They left the house and ended up in the villiage hidden in the leaves.

"Oh hold on a sec there is my favorite type of woman; a man" Sasuke just saw Haku leave the shoe shop with Zabuza. Jonathan looked at Sasuke thinking 'What am I doing with this weirdo!' 

Sasuke introduced himself to Haku and asked to go out later. "Sure I'd love to but I have to get Zabuza of my back. Where do you want to meet me?" Haku felt a slight change inside his heart and jhe knew that he loved Sasuke.


	3. The Date

I DONT OWN NARUTO **(IF YOUR WONDERING HAKU DIDN'T DIE IN MY STORY)**

**Chapter 3**

**The Date**

"You just stay here while I am gone with Haku, okay? Naruto and Tenten will be here five minutes."

"Hello Haku. Are your ready?" Haku had taken of his normal outfit to wear pants and a teashirt(for once). "Where are you taking me?"

"I am taking you to the most beautiful spot in town." Sasuke took Haku by the hand and took him to the pier. A tree that had over grown years ago was covering the pier with it's branches like a curtain.

At night time the fire flys would light up the area and make the water shimmer. "Sauske, thank you for bring me here I really needed to come here.

I love you." Haku looked into Sasuke's black eyes and leaned in and gave him a kiss.

"I love you to Haku." Sasuke leaned a kissed Haku back.

"We better go back. Naruto is probaly wondering what happened to us." But Sasuke really wanted to go back to his room with Haku.

"Okay." They got up and left and met Naruto holding Jonathan in his arms, with Jonathan wearing his old night cap. Jonathan woke up with his own snoring.

"Well Ssuke I better get going. I love you, " and gave him one last kiss.

"So how did the date go Sasuke?" Naruto was quite courious but he was mostly teasing. Sasuke completely ignored Naruto verbaly but instead punched in the stomach and went home.

"Come on Jonathan. Lets go home." Sasuke went back to Sakura and Kabuto's home, just in time to see Sakura and Kabuto pull up.


	4. The Fight

I do not own Naruto, any thing that is a Naruto trademark. STOP TELLING ME THIS STORY IS TWISTED! YOU READ THE DESCRIPTION, ITS LIKE AMERICAN HAKU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 4: The Fight

He watched as Sakura and Kabuto pulled up the drive way, "So what did you guys do tonight?" Sakura said as she past out because of to much alchohol. "Well, Jonathan stayed with Naruto and Tenten and I went on a date." Kabuto looked at Sasuke with great suspicion, he knew about his 'differant likings' and wondered who it was.

"Who was it? If anyone please don't say Haku! If you do I will have to kill you!" Sasuke thought of someone else that might be gay, "Um... it was um... Orochimaru. 'Ya he will believe that, he'll believe anything.' "I know it was Haku, Jonathan just told me I guess now I'll have to kill you.

All of a sudden out comes Itachi, with a sword. "You'll have to go through me to kill my brother, he is my meat." Everyone freezes, "Wait, Sauske is this the Itachi you told me about?" Itachi looks at Jonathan, Jonathan looks at Sasuke, Sasuke looks at Kabuto, and Kabuto looks at his passed out wife on the cold pavement.

I better put her away in our 'moveable ' bed." (wink wink) "Um.. dad? What do you mean by 'moveable' bed?" Sasuke looked at everyone and said, "son, mommys and daddys have things called happy times and that is when both mommy and daddy hug each other for a long time then go to sleep."

"Daddy? Can you and me have a happy time too?" "NO WE CAN'T HAVE A HAPPY TIME, ITS JUST FOR MOMMIES AND DADDIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Okay daddy."

Then the fight began... Sasuke, Jonathan, and Itachi kill Kabuto. Itachi and Sasuke go up to Jonathan and attack him, then they go for the kill. "I was wondering," said Itachi "would you like to join Akatsuki?" As Sasuke chopped off Jonathan's head he looked at Itachi and said "Sure, but why?" Itachi looked at him and said "Because everyone in Akatsuki is gay, awesome, and they have awesome hair. Also we think that your a smexy biatch."

NEXT UP: Sasuke's first day in Akatsuki.

ALSO: I give GaaGaa4NarutoGuys credit for the line "Also we think that you're a smexy biatch."


	5. Sasuke's First Day

I DON'T OWN NARUTO I give credit to Sesshomaru-Sara (the writer of Never Have I Ever) for inspiring me.

Chapter 5: Day 1

"Welcome to the Akatsuki kid!" Deidara said. The secret layer looked a lot like a bachelor pad. "Um... kid we don't have any more rooms. So you will be sharing a room with me and Sasori."

Sasuke nodded with annoyance. "Oh and we only have one bed." Sasuke's face turned red. "I will not share a bed with you and your lover!" ''Fine, fine, I'll go buy you a bed tomorrow." Sasuke made a mistake to look around the house. "Itachi, where are you I was wondering if I could talk with you!"

Okay so Itachi was so bored so he got down into only his underwear ( all he had to do was take off his robe) and got into the pool in the backyard. He heard Sasuke calling him and he just put on a towel and throw his underwear at his little brother. "Think fast!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Ew, this smells! Get it off!" Sasuke made sure that his brother saw what he was doing with his underwear, he put it on the fire pit. Then he lit the fire pit. "Stop it Sasuke! I need those, I was going to use them tonight! I really thought that I could have dried them in a differant way, I mean I know that Deidara likes cold underwear, but still that was uncalled for." Sasuke stopped what he was doing, "What does Deidara liking cold underwear have to do with anything?"

"I don't know, but I just wanted to say that." Sasuke looks at his older brother, for one split second, he looks at him, more than just an enemy, but a brother, someone he loved, someone who cared for him.

"Hey guys! I thought we might like to have a drinkin' game, so I went to the store and bought nineteen packs of beer." Called Deidara from the kitchen all seven members (formaly six) entered the kitchen only to head out to go to the in-home bar.

"So Sasuke is this your very first taste of beer? Even though you are 19, I mean haven't you had some at your house?" Sasuke thought about that question, and answered the answer no one thought about. "I don't know, I am passed out a lot, I have a lot of parties,and I wake up alone with ballons on my head." Everyone but Sasuke burst into laughter, ''why are you guys laughing?"

Everyone looked at Deidara and he said "At all your parties we would drug your cup and make you pass out so we can, um... have fun? I guess you could say. Ya, that is all we can say, so when we say Never have I ever been a virgin past the age of 13, don't drink, okay?"

"So why don't you start off, Kisame?"

"Never have I ever had gay sex." Everyone but Kisame drank, "But Kisame you're gay, you dated Itachi, one of the most sexual men I know, you didn't have gay sex?" "Nope!" Was all he answered.

"Okay, next um... Itachi!" Everyone put their eyes on Itachi. "Okay, never have I ever kissed Naruto." Everyone looked at Itachi and Sasuke, Sasuke was the only one who knew Naruto. "Okay fine, I kissed him, 19 times. But it was a dare contest, and we had to do that, or strike around town screaming that a rapist chicken was chasing us.I went with the first one."

"Aha, okay. Good for you." Next went Tobi. "Okay guys, Never Have Tobi ever, known my tribe and where Tobi belong." Everyone but him drank. Then the leader, "k guyzz Never haves I evers slept with Itachi" "Damn." Said Deidara, Deidara and Zetzu drank. "Okay my turn. Never have I ever been a fish! Ha! I know only one person who can drink!" Kisame drank that time and said, You said that just to sleep with me!" And passed out cold. Zetzu said "Yep," and pulled Kisame to his room.

"Okay my turn, and four people left. Never have I ever been a secret to my closest friends." Itachi and the leader drank. The leader passed out, then Itachi's turn again. "Okay, never have I ever been blonde!" Deidara looked at him, "Again with this one, that is low and you know it," he drank. "Sasuke are you okay, I think your done for the night. You'll have a major headache in the mornin' I get it ever Saturday mornin' its great to be a target on Saturday, cause you don't die till Sunday!"

"Okay, my turn," said Deidara and looked at Sasuke and Itachi with intense eyes. '_Wow his eyes are so smexy, and beautiful, but yet so annoying, and evil' ' _thought Sasuke. "Never have I ever been waiting for this night to come again." Sasuke and Deidara kept looking at each other. "I'll happily drink. Oh, by the way we will be using the living room, so you stuck with the couch with the in the kitchen. Hopefully we won't bother you."

That night Sasuke couldn't get a wink of sleep until 9:30 in the morning. Everyone "woke up" at 10:00. When Itachi and Deidara went to the living room, it was 12:30.


	6. The Truth

I don't own Naruto: If I did, people would be mad, very mad.

Chapter 6: The Truth

"So Sasuke, did you get any booty last night?" Zetzu was quite curious, as he un tied Kisame from his bed. "No, I didn't but I really miss Haku, I think I should go call her." Everyone stopped what they were doing. "Sasuke, I hate to break it to you, but Haku is a man." Sasuke looked shocked, "No, it can't be, Haku is a woman, she has to be."

"Sasuke, Haku is a man. Here I'll go get her... I mean him, great now you got me saying it."

"Sasuke, we have someone you might like to see." "I doubt it." Sasuke was pouting in the laundry room, that was the only room that wasn't spread with ax, most of the rooms, had ax unwillingly put on it. Like the living room couch. "Sasuke..." said Haku with a soft and sweet voice. "I thought you knew that I was a man, that is the only reason why I agreeded to go on the date, then I found out that I loved you. Please understand that if you want to be with me, you're going to be with a man."

''No, that can't be I love you, but now that I know that your a man, I don't what to do." As he was he was talking the world got slower and slower and he saw his life flash before his eyes. His arm moved through something that looked like fog and he passed out.

2 Hours Later...

"Sasuke! Sasuke! Wake Up!" Haku and Deidara were screaming and runing in circles.

"Oh look a squirrel. Nevermind that right now. I was going to tell you this but you left, and no one knew where you went. The only trace of whre you had been is where you killed all those people. I can get a sex change, if that is what you want, a woman. But understand that once I do this you can't go to anyone else."

"NO, if I wanted a woman I would have stayed with Sakura, even though she gave birth to Kabuto's baby. But I don't want a woman, I want a man, but I liked you as woman. I think I'll just sit down and think about it for a while." Sasuke fell asleep for hours before he woke up, and said "I think I will go to Kisame for advice."

So it took Sasuke such a long time to find Kisame, and plus you don't want to know where he was, okay I'll just tell you. He was in the one and only strip club in Kohono. "Um... hey Sasuke!"

"Lets just go Kisame!" Sasuke hated it when his "target" or friend in this case was here, because he had to kill the gaurds because he wasn't old enough to get in. "So what do you need," said Kisame as him, and Sasuke went back to the 'pad' as everybody called it. "Well I don't know what to do, I love Haku but I hate the fact that he is a guy, I love Deidara and his hair, but he is dating Itachi."

"What I think you should do, is go to Haku and talk to him. Ask him if he is willing do to that for you and go with him. He seems very nice." Sasuke finally figured out what he wanted. "Thanks Kisame." "Your welcome, but why come to me, I'm not your brother or Deidara."

"I came to you because you had no connections to the people I love. Also you don't judge me like the others do." Kisame looked at Sasuke and Sasuke looked at Kisame. Then as they were coming along the 'pad' the both jumped into a bush and started making out.

A Few Hours Later...

"Wow, That was AWESOME!" Sasuke came out first pulling up his pants, then zipping up his pants. "Wow, that was awesome, but yet so unexspected." There was a long awkward pause as the two walked into the 'pad' and went to their rooms.

"Haku, would you really and truely change your sex for me?" Sasuke walked into his room, with the biggest puppy dog look on his face. Without looking up Haku answered, "I will do anything for you, I would even kill my master, Zabuza to make you happy."

"Haku..."


End file.
